An essence can never be destroyed, it may shift or transform, but the core of it endures.
When we are going through hardship, especially a Dark Night of the Soul, anchoring ourselves into our core essences can be our saving grace.
These cores essences are energies that live within us regardless of how we feel, what we think, and we may be currently facing in our lives.
It is these core essences that we must remember and tap into when things get hard.
It is these core essences we must anchor ourselves into because it is the only thing that will survive the dark night of the soul.
A Dark Night of the Soul is when all goes dark. We lose touch with reality, and nothing really seems to matter anymore. We enter what may feel like an immense void. There is nothing but emptiness and darkness. We feel completely disconnected and alone. Nothing has meaning anymore.
The first time can be extremely overwhelming, disturbing, and deeply uncomfortable. My first Dark Night of the Soul occurred back in 2015. It terrified me. But also deeply intrigued me. I had no idea what was happening. I wanted to cease to exist. I felt like I didn’t belong here. I felt completely disconnected from everything. Death ceased to scare me. I felt ready and welcomed it.
Looking back, I was dying.
Parts of my identity that weren’t serving me anymore were being stripped away. I was dying so that I could be reborn again. And I was. I was reborn in the sense that the person I once was, died. I am no longer her. I look at old pictures of me, but I no longer see myself in them. I see a beautiful woman who didn’t belong where she was. I see a beautiful innocent soul trying to make it in a world she was never meant to fit into. A see a child, with love so pure, it would have been destroyed had she stayed where she was…
She had to go. She was a shell of who I was meant to become…
***
Do Dark Nights of the Soul get easier the more you go through them? No. But also yes…
No because the same feelings tend to remerge such as despair, hopeless and a loss of interest in things that once seemed to be so valuable and significant. The only difference is that these feelings might surround a different issue than the first time you went through this experience. Maybe the first time involved your job and your career and now the second one involves your attachment to money or people.
Yes, because your awareness has expanded. Your foresight is sharper, and you are able to clearly decipher what is going on: you are going through another dark night of the soul.
You realize that you have been through one maybe once before, so the second one you feel a bit more prepared. But once you are knee deep in it, the darkness can seem to completely take over and we can completely lose sight of the light.
And maybe for some time we do. Maybe we do lose sight of the light that exists outside of us so that we may turn inwards and rediscover the eternal flame that exists within us. The eternal flame that is our soul.
We realize that this inner flame has been here all along and connecting to this inner flame becomes our saving grace and anchor.
When we go through a third dark night of the soul, we already know when its coming. All the familiar sensations start to creep in. We start to self-isolate. We start to desire our own company above all else. We start to enter our inner void once more.
But once we’ve been through it more than twice, things begin to shift. We start to approach our dark night of the soul differently. We start to become masters of the void and masters of the pain. We realize that even though the darkness seems darkest during these moments, we have parts of ourselves that can endure.
These parts are what I call core essences. They are parts of us that no matter how many death and rebirth cycles we may go through, survive, grow and expand along side us. They are our permanent anchor point into Source, God, the Universe or whatever you want to call it. Because as much as our human self does get disconnected for a little while, our soul remains connected during it all.
As I have progressed on my own spiritual journey, I have realized that as much as my human self does feel disconnected during a dark night of the soul, my soul knows it is permanently connected to Source. I have been observing the existence of this duality within me. It is the existence of this duality that inspired me to write about my current experience.
Your soul contains core essences and these core essences are your surviving pillars through a dark night of the soul. These core essences are what you can hold onto when everything else gets wiped out and all seems to go dark.
What do these essences look and feel like? If you’ve done enough inner work, chances are you can already identify a few of them. Examples of core essences can include:
Being the eternal medicine woman or medicine man
Being the eternal wise woman or wise man
Being the eternal wizard or witch
Being the eternal healer or shaman
Being the eternal star child or star mother
Being the eternal oracle or seer
These are essences that I deem eternal because they are tied to your soul. You can never destroy them. They have been with you since the very creation and inception of your soul. They are energies that have always been with and within you. Though the words used to describe these essences may fluctuate and change over time, the core of these energies remains the same and very familiar and comfortable.
For me, my core essences are being the eternal witch, being the eternal seer, being the eternal oracle. I have held and embodied these essences for lifetimes. Now that I have remembered them again in this life, they are my anchors. They are what I lean into when I feel the void consuming me. They are my strength and the root of my power when everything else about my existence is about to be uprooted and transformed. I have been leaning into them a lot lately as I enter into the uncomfortable yet familiar void once again.
My human self feels disconnected and I understand that for some time, I need to feel this way. I need to feel and be disconnected on a human level because underneath it all, my spiritual and soulful connection to Source is deepening. As much as things might be dying on the surface, underneath, new life is about to spring forward. My connection to Source is being strengthened and deepened through this process.
If you don’t know what your core essences are, you simply need to remember.
Remembering your core essences is what will help you get through the darkest nights of the soul. These core essences are what will help you navigate the widest of voids.
These core essences will be your saving grace, your inner light when all around you goes dark.
You simply need to remember what they are.
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